brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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