So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
