your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
