Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
as a side note pls kill me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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