New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
In America we eat man semen.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
