my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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