I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Boobs are out for the taking
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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