Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
