Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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