Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
