No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
