so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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