I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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