i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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