OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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