I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
