I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
