If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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