did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
