i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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