I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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