DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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