I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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