no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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