so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
