Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
