it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize