So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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