mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
