Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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