I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
