i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize