You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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