my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
