Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
