I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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