I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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