I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
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I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
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I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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