he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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