i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
