I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
