The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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