I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
