she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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