i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
