i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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