What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
