Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize