Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
