Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
