I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
