Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
