I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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