proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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