dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize