is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
