hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
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My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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