Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
