at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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