Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I can't put those talents on a resume
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
