maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
