Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How external is "for external use only"?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
