No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
