Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
