The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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